Even though similar articles have been floating around the Internet since 2003, because of the importance of the subject matter we felt there was a need to re-visit and update this topic. Bum wines,twist-cap wines, fortified wines, street wines, call them what you will, the bottom line is these wines are all absolutely horrible and the first sip is always the...

Known as “liquid crack,” for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine. The label insists that the ingredients are merely “citrus wine & grape wine with artificial flavor & artificial color,” but...

As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called “Mad Dog 20/20″. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite. You’ll find this beverage as often in a bum’s nest as in any place where the high school kids sneak off to drink. Our...

Don’t let the 0.5% less alcohol by volume fool you, the Night Train is all business when it pulls into the station. All aboard to nowhere. The night train runs only one route: sober to stupid with no roundtrip tickets available, and a strong likelihood of a train wreck along the way. This train yard favorite is bottled by E&J Gallo Winery in Modesto,...

Pigeon feces. As soon as you taste this swill, it will be obvious that its makers cut every corner possible in its production to make it cheap. Self-proclaimed as “The American Classic,” Thunderbird is bottled by E&J Gallo Winery. Disguised like Night Train, the label says that it is made by “Thunderbird, Ltd.” If your taste buds are...